One's voice: A fiddling synchronicity
An artist CL said that she is now playing violin by herself, without her partner -- not her choice to stop --with whom she once played frequently. Although wondering why, she feels this could give her a chance to find her musical voice independent of her once-mentor. Her fantasy is expressed in an email to me a few days ago: To play more fiddling music. Specifically, CL writes:
"So now I am in this kind of limbo,...and I can explore other genres. Some fantasies that I have of doing, or actually are doing are: interesting shuffle bowing, learning more country fiddle improv, double stops which I have been practicing for a long time. Or manipulating some phrases on a digital computer program, with loops and extreme variances. Maybe some violin phrasing into a background for binaural waves? Or some really eerie dark background that would hopefully verge on a haunting beautiful riff. Who knows, all I know is that on my own, my direction is very different."
Today, CL took heart and, having been invited to be in contact with a visiting musician/song writer from Nashville to get together and fiddle, or at least talk violin, she accepted with some excitement and a touch of courage.
"I needed more contact with other musicians. On Friday a friend called about this fiddler/guitarist song writer who is visiting and if we could meet him (he wrote music for Dixie Chicks...lived in Nashville for years).
"Just a minute ago, I called and invited him over. We talked about violin. He told me he had been so intimidated by the Nashville fiddlers that he quit playing violin and devoted himself to song writing (previously he had played electric violin for years with his group). You see, we are all complex, aren't we, about music and performing? I had decided last week to be more courageous about meeting other musicians and playing with others. And synchronistically, remember that I said that one of my desires is to learn something more about Western fiddling?
"What I really want to do is just fiddle around and go light and easy with it and spend more time with it on just a curious let's see what happens sort of mode. Just let it go to its natural consequences."
The desire to find one's voice seems, at least for CL, to be heralded by synchronicity. This situation is a synchronicity for me as well, because there are areas in my life where I want to find my own voice. Authentic voice came up this weekend for me although I did not act on it outwardly. And this morning, I had wondered if synchronicities existed for me anymore, and now I realize they do. They continue. At the right time. From the top, with feeling.